Kanchanaburi

The river slithered out of the mountains with such speed that it seemed the forest must have been on fire. This should have been our first clue, but we pressed on, past rice paddies and the Death Railway, past water monitors and banana trees, past lotus fields and check points. We curved around roads unable to watch where we were going because we were mesmerized by the sun setting through the jagged dragon’s teeth jutting out of the landscape. Even as night began to fall, we did not stop, further into the heart of a jungle so dark that the moon and stars could not be seen, as if we were no longer in a world surrounded by other planets and galaxies. The fauna grew more massive and the flora grew more crowded until we were shouldering our way into a deafening density. Frogs croaked wood against wood, geckos sounded like birds, and cicadas imitated longtail boats.

Beetles and dragon flies landed on us as if we were sticks. Park rangers told us to turn back. Kitti bats stayed in their caves. Street signs shaped like royal crabs scuttled away from roads. And yet we persisted, driven on by an incurable bug for adventure, a sickness that pushed to see more and more unseen, a fever that made our hearts restless and drove us from our homes.

The mountains became billowy the higher we went, as if this far from the city even they were not fixed. Mist gathered round, blurring the edges. Bamboo plumed off cliffs, looking like giant feathery ferns from a distance. Animals jumped off limestone bluffs, floating into elephants and crocodiles and gibbons of cloud. Forests sank into reservoirs, as if the earth did not know where it stood. The road twisted, uncertain of the ground beneath it. On motorbikes and bicycles and boats, we pressed, closer toward forbidden lands where borders were blurry, into frontiers decorated with coconuts and cow skulls, where cowboys wore rice paddy hats. Into a west so wild that centuries and continents fell on top of each other. And we, naturally, lost our bearings, too.

Ficus roots floated in midair so that we wondered briefly if we were underground. Strangler figs wound around trees so tightly that the buttressed giants choked and fell, leaving exoskeleton trunks of vine, hollow ghost trees that still sprouted leaves and fruit. We climbed inside and nestled there, daring the vines to squeeze us, too. They were slow to respond to our taunts, as careful foliage often is. Hidden inside that creeping constrictor, we were not so cautious.

Deprived of the embraces of elkhorns and newts, we clasped each other. As tigers turned to clouds and mountains gaped into open dragon’s maws, we held hand to hip, mouth to mound, cheek to cheeks. Arms flattened into banana leaves. Hair transformed into mountain fog. Feet flew into branches. Eyes grew into papaya. Bellies became karst formations and breasts danced into spinning seed pods. Fingers split into ferns. Orchids turned and cooed at the rustling, lizards clucked, birds whistled, mangoes dropped like dumbfounded jaws, and gibbons whooped.

We were no longer sure if we were astronauts or crickets, dinosaurs or gods. But the knowledge no longer mattered. I did not return from that heart of darkness, and nor did you. But we came home, as frangipani and limestone, passion fruit and snakes, tree frogs and jasmine, the earth and the sky.

Creative Commons  love to purplekarmaaxelsaffron, and beakatude (in that order) for the photos! Thank you!

Making Love to Clouds

I did not flinch when I saw her, though I knew she expected it.  My face did not mirror hers, eyes pulled wide, lips forced apart by the sharp intake of breath she could not control,  brow clenched upwards by a mind which could not believe.

A small breath of air made its way from my lungs, but my lips could not form her name.

Her eyes moved away from mine to the ground.  She did not want me to see her this way, I knew, and she would rather have never seen me at all than to meet me like this.

Her hair, which I had never seen down in all our years together, even through sleep and childbirth, fell in front of her face, intentionally hiding it.  In the darkness, it was hard to tell the two apart, now that the night of her straight hair had spread down the length of her body.  It was the blackness of her face from which I could not take my eyes.  Not the decay of her skin, crawling into strange formations as it fell from her flesh, nor the worms escaping from within her and being more eager to return to her to feast, but the pure tar of her face.  It had been one of her more powerful features, lighting the sky with its whiteness, its power making men run for cover.

“Do not look on me,” her words were loud, quick.  I wondered if she knew I had been chasing the young nymph which had just passed her, giggling melodically, curls and young breasts bouncing teasingly around the corner.  I wondered if it had been long enough since her death, or if it ever would be.

“I miss looking on you,” I offered.

She scoffed under her breath.  I could hear the tightening of her hard face through the darkness.  It was a sound I had not forgotten.

She crossed her arms, jagged elbows sending small bolts of lightning at the ground.  In the light, I could see a cockroach on the ground, near her dirty, bare feet.  It was the first time I understood her shame in being seen in the underworld.  Her usually tidy, glowing dress looked like what a peasant mortal would wear.  Instead of her usual shining shoes, her small, sharp feet, were caked in dirt, and being eaten.  I wondered if it was difficult for her to walk with the same poise that she had always carried.

“Please,” I said, knowing she would notice that my voice was not that of a god, but of a mole.  It did not happen often, but I knew she always noticed when I lost my composure.   “We will never see each other again.  We are lucky for just this moment.  Please, just look at me.”

“I-”  It was not often that she stuttered.  Her uneasiness grew to fill the small confines of the underground cave in which we stood.

Maybe she also feels as if it were my fault.

Perhaps she did not recall her last days, after the birth of the fire.  The way she screamed as the flames came forth from her womb burned my insides also.  The tears that sparked her electric face for days afterwards as she whimpered in pain each stung me as well. And I could no longer live forever when her immortality was taken away.

“I am not the same,” she said, her voice beginning to crack.  I knew she would not cry.  I struggled in the darkness to see better the prickly lines of her long body and face, the points of her nose, chin, and hips.

“I know,” I said.  I still missed looking on her.

   He did not know. 

            I could see his misty face, churning with emotions — for me!  If he knew, he would not be taking the time to steal a few moments with me before his return home.

            He moved towards me and I was within his arm’s reach.  I moved away.

            “I know,” he repeated, taking a small, determined step forward. 

            That was the moment when the memories flew past me and I was forced to turn and look at the decaying wall.  This gave my unruly mind free reign in recalling my memories, but at least I did not look at his face. 

            The tree came back to me first, but I knew that did not mean I loved him more.  The nights I had stolen away with the tree in a forced, hushed passion were just easiest to remember — there had been so few.  Always after dark.  Embracing without kissing.  A dainty removal of his own splinters.  All so the clouds could detect no signs when I returned home.  The splinters were my favorite part, even then.

            But there were more nights — since the beginning of time, in fact — with the clouds.  After all, what is lightning without clouds, or clouds without lightning?  The best nights were always the ones spent over tropical islands — hurricanes and our children, the thunder, the rain, and the tornado, were all conceived from the swirls of our passion on nights like those.

            So, when I first realized that I was having the fire child, I stopped seeing the tree.  I had no doubts about who fathered it.  But, then again, neither did the clouds.  Perhaps that was the most painful part of the ordeal:  the clouds trusted me so much that he was sure the child was his.

            “I am sorry,” he tried.  I knew he was fumbling for words, and it made me want him to hold me.

            “I am as well.”  But I stayed cold.  Who would want to hold a sack of maggots?

            “If I had known what would happen –“

            “You should not apologize.”

            “It was my fault,” he said.

            “It was not your fault,” I insisted, my voice rising with tension.

            “I should not have–” he stopped.

            I could hear him turn, his arm brushing chunks of dirt off the crumbling wall, and return the way he had come.

 

 

 

 

 

Creative Commons Love to Liamfm on flickr.  Thank you!

Akhenaten (Winter 2012.)

Even when history is written in stone, it is re-written.  This is the nature of the story.  Suns and hawks and buffaloes are erased, scratched over to be reused in the temples of the future.  Reunderstood.  Re-envisaged.  Repostulated.  This is how Akhenaten was lost, struck from the roll of the pharaohs, a distant memory of a monotheistic heretic, a madman with only one god.  He built cities and temples and sculptures of stone and gold and they were quietly erased in the span of a generation.  Father of history’s most famous pharaoh, the first individual, founder of world religions and yet … forgotten.

Even when etchings are deep, the vengeance of history is deeper.

His lips were full, and so was his stomach, as if he were the bearer of life:  Mother and Father in one.  Son of the sun, he named himself.  Descendant of the stars. Yet “He is the sun, as compared to the stars,” the people wrote.   He shone and spun with energy and life.   He was daytime and dawn and we were drawn to him.  The pull of his large middle seemed to keep earth in orbit and suggested that he was … different.

His head was large, too.  And not just metaphorically.  His skull was not round, not adorned with the dress of kings.  Instead it jutted, backwards.  As if his brain were trying to leap out of his head.   As if he came born with too many thoughts for a human skull to hold.  Or too many questions.

His face was not manly and beautiful.  It was strange and androgynous.  His lips pouted, asking to be kissed.  His nose barely fit on his face.  And his chin, his chin was so pointy.  It turned his giant skull into the shape of an upside-down tear drop: a large, rounded cranium that ended in a small, pointy face.  And then there was the matter of his eyes.  They were big, but not round, enormous almonds that seemed to fill his brow.  With his mouth and eyes and nose, there was very little room for a face, to speak of.  Instead he was an immense head, full of features.   It wasn’t normal.  It wasn’t human.  It was almost alien – as if he did come from the stars.

He did not recline the way other pharaohs did.  He was not somehow both always at rest and gifted with an athletic, sculpted body.  His shoulders were small and his hips were large.  His arms and calves were so spindly that some likened him to a spider.  His thighs were so large that there were whispers amongst the people “Is he Oedipus, swollen foot?”  His mother was, after all, beloved.

Instead, he was lively, as if stone carvers always caught him in the act.  Each carving seemed to be a live-action photograph of a son of god engaged with his surroundings.  The cartoon pharaoh, always animated, surrounded by loved ones, animals, and the outdoors.  Not only acting as a ruler, but acting as a father, a man, a lover.  He was a king of movement: orbiting and revolving through the universe.  His pull and the pull of the world around him spun together, and inspired each other to dance faster and further.

You can see how the present had fallen in love, and how history was not amused.

Response to a previous prompt: http://lightningdroplets.wordpress.com/2012/02/10/prompt-rasputin/

Thanks to http://www.flickr.com/photos/zinetv/ for the photo of Nefertiti (?).

The 366th Day (Leap Day 2012.)

February 28th was like every other day, until midnight, when nature, reassuringly, fell apart.  It seemed that the powers-that-be drew their heads between their shoulder blades and sheepishly conceded that time was not as sane and stable as you’d been told.  The year was out of line to us sun worshippers.  Five hours, 49 minutes, and 16 seconds out of order, give or take.  And for that, every four years, except every hundred years, but not every four hundred, the calendar needed to be slapped with an extra day.

But this isn’t just any extra day.  This day boils with the possibilities of being outside of time.  Clocks and calendars hold their breath as they wait impatiently for the sun to catch up.  The planets and stars saunter slowly across the sky as alarm clocks hold in their ringing and watches repeat the same ticks over and over again.  It almost seems that the sky is teasing Earth’s timepieces, moving in slow motion and even pausing, just because it could.

It was on such a day that she came to you in red petticoats, dressed all in white save for the scarlet blooming from beneath her skirts.  She bore a crooked smile. She was daring you, even before she spoke.  Her irises seemed three-dimensional; as if her pupils were planets whose gravity had attracted rings.  She was decked out in emeralds, on fingers and toes, and somehow it never occurred to you to wonder where they had come from.  She murmured something about Irish traditions that you knew you were not meant to hear and suddenly her hair flashed to crimson.  Just as suddenly, it was black again and indistinguishable from the sky.

She takes your hand and she leads you to the river.  It is silent, as if the water has stopped flowing. It’s too black to see them, but you are almost certain that boats are rooted in the current.  And just when you mean to tell her that you’ve got no time to give her:

“Marry me.”  It was not a question, but it was a proposition.  In the thick humidity of the night, the sky paused long enough for you to wonder what that would mean.  If time would continue its mundane march through schedules.  Or maybe, just maybe, the gravity of this moment would bring the spirals of galaxies to a halt.  Maybe a leap made on a night like this would cause the rest of time to hold its breath, head cocked, suspended in a date that did not exist.

You know already what would happen if you refused.  You would owe 12 pairs of gloves.  One pair for each month in the wobbly year.  One glove for each hour in the faltering day.  They would be worn, again and again, hiding ringless hands.   And time would continue as it always had, orbiting a sun that did not seem to care.

And yet… in just this instant there seemed to be a way out of Big Ben’s repetitive clacking and the 10,000 Year Clock didn’t seem like such a bad idea.  The only movement in this moment came from the flickering of stars and the challenge in her eyes.  In this present, with the universe frozen to a temperature that was livable, the Long Now almost seemed possible.

Is that a chance you are willing to take?

Thank you to http://www.flickr.com/photos/telstar/ for the photo of the 10,000 Year Clock prototype!  Hooray!